HOW FAR IS ENOUGH...?

So.....its settled then...this is me....and this is what I wanna do....and I still feel confused! why??
what more do I need now?? how much more do I need to do??...why do I feel like its done and now I can just rest....I don't seem to get the message that I need to keep going...this isn't not even the finish line....not even close....I love this place and I can get used to Newcastle but I can never forget the world is my canvas and its my duty to paint it red!!!
Its now been more then a month over here..although I still cant keep my mouth closed when I see something awesome as always around here...I wish I could show what I see here back home so I could share how awesome it is here...and yes I do miss home...its getting harder to face the fact that I wont see India till 2013!...but I guess its got to the point were the pain just needs to be accepted....I mean I still wish I was there in my society to burst those crackers, to watch my parents have the time of their lives on their 25th anniversary....to go to those SSU sessions again...to just hangout with my freinds at the hidden place...to meet harsh and the others for a night of crazy madness...man I could just keep goin on and on....
but if I had thought bout all these things before I left I probably may have never left....for many I dont think it was a big deal but for someone whose travel stories were limited to Goa and Kerala and the random one to Delhi it was the biggest thing ever to even fly this far, let alone live here for a year and a half...leaving my family, friends and loved ones behind.....

I want happiness so much its almost like a crushing force against my chest and I cannot consider failure as an option...there is no second place....its this moment and the next...every one of those moments is a test....if I get an opening I need to tear into it...if I get a shot at victory I need to make damn sure I make it count...need to seize that moment...because that moment is like a crossroad with everything you want against everything you got standing in your way..Iv got momentum in my back....fear and doubt are thundering down like a friggin express train right at you....and ALL Iv got....the only thing standing between MAKING HISTORY and BEING HISTORY......the only thing...THE ONLY THING... I can count on in every single point of time is ME!!
Its me vs them, me vs 'no!', me vs 'cant!',....ME  vs next year, last year, excuses.....its me vs the odds.....                                            ITS ME VS SECOND PLACE.....
THE CLOCK IS TICKING....
LETS SEE WHAT IV GOT..!